Online dating does it work

But once dating stopped being such a big part of my life and I wasn't virtually surrounded by people seeking a partner, I began to realize a few years is not a long time at all.

It's like gambling: The hope of winning is so strong and motivating, you don't even realize you're losing most of the time.4.

Those swipes can seriously affect your self-esteem With fewer avenues to receive validation about my attractiveness, I sincerely began to believe my looks had declined (at the tender age of 25, I know).

I first created an OKCupid account in 2011, and for nearly five years, online dating and I had a tumultuous, on-and-off relationship.

Then, in December of 2015, I decided I would take a break from online dating—and that unlike my previous "breaks," this one would last for more than a few weeks.

Looking for love can backfire When I met my partner, I was in the opposite mindset from when I was online dating.

I was just looking for fun and maybe a hookup, not a relationship.

During the times I slipped on my hiatus and went on OKCupid, I realized I felt a sense of dread as the homepage loaded because I associated the site with disappointment and rejection.

I hadn't even noticed these feelings before because they were overridden by the hope that I'd get that rare good message.

As with Twitter, Facebook, Linked In, and email, I checked it compulsively with the hope that some exciting notification would greet me on the homepage. I also realized that when I used Tinder, I was swiping compulsively to try to find out who my "super likes" were, often not even reading profiles.

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