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Trying to figure out what’s wrong with the person: There’s obviously something wrong with the person if they are single and over the age of 23, trying to figure out what is wrong is always a bad move.
I’m not even talking about with the person themselves, I’m talking about asking your older single friend what’s wrong with her friend – this implies you think all older singles are screwed up.
Before I started dating, someone, possibly a teacher, told me that one should always go on a second date unless the first date was a really, really big disaster.
The reasoning is that sometimes people are nervous on a first date, or you don’t get to know them really, or perhaps they’ll grow on you.
You are not making people feel good by telling them how hopeless they are.
Ignore the one single in shul: One of things frum singles feel most hurt by, is the fact that they are not fully part of the community (in 50 years the married folks may be the minority and who will have the last laugh) so don’t just ignore the one single in shul, invite them to your house and make them feel good about themselves – I don’t get depressed, but frum singles are all about wallowing in their sadness and loneliness.
Well it may be that it tends to be said without much sympathy, as a way to remind said single or other celebration that they are in fact not married.
It makes some girls feel so bad that they refuse to attend simchas in order to avoid this bracha.I know plenty of people who subscribe to this philosophy as well, and I include myself in that category. The first is that my experience (and when I say “my experience” it’s not only my personal experience, but also when consulting others who are dating) seems to indicate that this is told a lot more to girls than it is to guys.Guys are given more leeway to end things earlier while girls are pushed to continue and try it again.Whenever I would tell someone why I didn’t want to go out again, the shadchan would tell me some sappy unrealistic story about how some couple never would have seen themselves together who eventually got married.These stories fill up the pages of frum shidduch guides and that really crappy shidduch column in the Jewish Press.My second thought is that the line is not always clear.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating